It all started over a decade ago, when I was inspired to write a story about the paranormal. Little did I know that many would try to bring me down, kick my dreams and destroy any shreds left of my desire to succeed.
Well guess what, they might have made it hard, but A. Wayne is an Author now and the Creator of GBM aka Gothic Bite Magazine.
Destroy to Conquer
Over a decade ago, barely out of my teen years, when off work, I would be either reading or writing. When I finished my first novel (in French at the time as I’m from Montréal), I jumped on the other and wrote approximately six novels of about two hundred pages each. Inspired by the Goosebumps‘ series, it followed a rock band, cursed by the paranormal.
Granted, my French, despite being above average for someone my age, might not have been perfect and the story might have needed guidance, I was aware of it. But once presented to some publishing houses, many called me to tell me how awful of a writer I was and compared me to some child that wrote a story with her grandmother.
Devastated, I deleted all those stories and threw out any remains of it. My dream of becoming an author was over. At the time, I didn’t know I suffered from anxiety and OCD and that certain things would affect me deeply than others.
A few years have passed, I had other deceptions concerning my writings when I decided to give it a second chance and so, I realized that French might not have been the way to go. Everyone I reached out to, seemed to take a malicious pleasure in telling me that I was was not good enough and most likely would never be. I was not a good writer and didn’t have the qualities that were required.
But this time, I had a backup plan, English.
OCD & Discipline
Writing being my main passion, I dedicated much time in reading, but I wanted to rely on myself and not any other external entity. I spent months and months researching independent publishers that might be interested in my writing, then, I looked out to some blogs that might enjoy what I write. And, finally, I made a list of editors.
My novel, paranormal and focused on vampires, wasn’t written at the time, I was still in the process of layout the story. My OCD might be the result of my high anxiety and introversion, but, it also has me very disciplined and very extremely organized.
I created synopsis, documents detailing every single part of my story and I had a note book where I would write, chapter by chapter, the main things that would take place.
Aware that it was my first vampire novel, when done, I submitted it to an editor who got back to me and was kind enough to let me know crucial points that I could take care of myself without having to pay her a fortune to do it for me. She pointed out my weaknesses and suggested I would cut my book in two.
I followed her advice, even took her online class to help me with my novel and re-wrote the entire 150’000 words aka the second time I wrote my own novel.
When my husband and I moved to our new house, north surrounded by woodlands, I decided to emerge myself in my paranormal novel again and changed some major plots again. It ended up with me rewriting the story again. Then, I reached out to another editor named, Tara M. Clapper.
I sent her my novel, when she got back to me I made it clear to myself that I would follow each and every one of her advice and make myself a better writer. I, again, had to write my vampire novel for the fourth time.
When sending it back to her, she said that it was a delight working with me because I was open to her suggestions and that my writing drastically improved.
Grateful and happier than ever, I worked with her more and to this day, she is my main rock in writing and my editor of choice. I don’t want anyone else. She understands my paranormal twisted mind.
Living with anxiety, OCD and IBS, means that things from the past are never truly gone in your mind. While others might say “Just let it go” in the head of one living with those restrains would think this, Geez, thanks! You just healed me! If only I would’ve known! Yeah, it doesn’t happen like that because if it would, I’d probably have been published ten times by now.
Insecurity, fears and words from French publishers surfaced and I put my novel aside for a while focusing on my graphic design skills that I’ve learned when taking my course.
I took other artistic classes in sequential art, anatomy and inking at Comics Experience, then publicity illustrations at College Salette and video game concept art and storytelling at Syn Studio. Through those, I had a script class, the teacher told me.
“You have incredible skills, if you wrote a novel and didn’t publish it by now, you never will. Go home, publish your novel and jump on to the next. That’s how you get better. The secret is to do it over and over again.” – College Salette Teacher
Confusion, endless hours of traveling and doubts, one course was in French while the other in English. It had me realize English was truly the language I had to adopt. After all, all French people I seemed to bumped into were too afraid to meet someone that might have gotten potential. I’ve seen many students that were kicked down by teachers letting them know their dreams were too high for them to reach.
In my heart, French is my mother tongue and most beloved language, and no one will ever take it away from me. But, sometimes, the hardest part of love is letting go. And so I did for my dream to happen.
To Boldly Go
It was in 2016 that I decided it was time for me to bring my dream to life. I went back to writing and had to practice again to get better at it. I spent months working on ideas to try and find my true calling.
Since I had a short novel to have edited, we have agreed upon an exchange of services and I wrote my first article ever for a nerdy female oriented professional blog. Then, when the news of a new Star Trek series emerged, I reached out to The Geek Initiative, where Michelle Biller – the editor in chief, was looking for a writer and so I proposed my services.
It is needless to say that Star Trek gave me back what I lost… confidence in my writing because while I was appraised for my illustration and graphic/web design skills, my writing was always my biggest weakness. Still afraid of showing I was capable of.
At the end of 2017 the idea of Gothic Bite Magazine burst in my mind. I immediately reach out to friends I knew would jump in and to this day, they are part of the Ghoul Family. Even two has tagged along ever since.
The idea behind Gothic Bite Magazine was to stand out from all other webzines that like all other printed counterparts, focuses on female models dressed in Gothic clothing or males showing their Marilyn Manson looks; we would be different.
The magazine focuses on legends, folklores, monsters and experiences. We talk about inspires a different type of life. We talk about what it’s like to be unique and seen like the black sheep. We are like no others and that’s what I wanted. A place for everyone that had no magazines for them.
Gothic Bite Magazine was my rebirth, slowly getting back into writing, gaining editing experiences to help with my own words and it brought me to use my graphic/web design skills.
“Every choice we make, allows us to manipulate the future.” – Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek The Next Generation
I build GBM from the ground-up. Twice. Because we had to change host. I put everything I had artistically to give. Hours of research and learning later, and we have over three hundred amazing followers and we interview New York Times Best-Selling Authors!
My work, tears and dedication paid off.
My first novel, believe it or not, is not the first vampire novel I wrote. It is a short story, about vampires and werewolves, of course and was edited by Tara M. Clapper. I had it ready for months, but fear stopped me.
I could’ve gone the regular route, but I was fed up. Instead, with the combination of my skills in marketing, social media, graphic/web design and the editing and marketing skills of Tara, we decided to try it self-published.
I was nervous, still am to be honest. I build-up my Author Page, my ebook and paperback for it and now, today, it is live on Amazon! It will be available through other distributors eventually, but Amazon is my first.
To buy my book just Click!
(If you buy my paperback, you have the ebook for free!)
A. Wayne is an Author now and the proud Creator of GBM.
The OCD Vampire,